By Catherine Mongan
ATTENTION STUDENTS OF SARATOGA: We have been silent for too long. It has become common practice to cover up and hide behind our shields – and by shields, I mean shoes.
Let me ask you a question: When was the last time you let the piggies breathe? Shoe mandates have been enforced for far too long. Imagine walking down the halls of SSHS with your bare feet on the dirty floor. Can you feel the cool touch of freedom yet?
According to the CFF (Center for Foot Freedom), wearing socks – and more specifically shoes – does nothing to increase sanitation indoors. In fact, according to a recent study that has no clear source (so do not Google it), 93.5% of Americans are tired of wearing shoes in public spaces. And a recent poll conducted amongst dogs concluded that they are doing just fine without shoes.
At home, you take your shoes off when you walk inside to maintain a cleaner environment. After all, shoes carry filth, so the only logical way to prevent tracking dirt, mud, and depression through our schools is to remove them before entering.
It is not feet that are the problem – it’s shoes.
If the Second Amendment guarantees our right to bear arms, why do we not have the right to bare feet? You heard it here first – I am proposing a twenty-eighth amendment to correct this clear injustice.
To show your support for this revolution of unseen proportion, come to school on Monday without shoes. If you do not comply, you may have your shoes forcibly removed from your feet at some point during the day. A burst of serotonin is guaranteed to ensue after you reclaim your inalienable right.
We will be the change. It may be your body, but it is my choice.